Blog post #4 (writing sample)

                                                                      Specificity Piece

The smell of the fresh leaves and warm summer air flooded my nose, giving me a feeling of excitement. The campus was stunning, like when a kid enters Disneyland for the first time.  Everything about it was beautiful, such as the several brick-structured buildings, the green leafy trees that surrounded the area, and the numerous cars that were filled with families. Today was move-in day. The sound of trunks opening and bags rolling across the ground filled my ears.

“All freshmen please go to your designated dorms please. If you have questions, ask me or the other upperclassmen!” a voice boomed from a megaphone.

 Like other students, I gazed around too trying to find where that voice came from. It was the RA, who was wearing cargo shorts, with a red and black UC polo. He had a rather hard look on his face, and instantly I decided I wouldn’t mess with him. We then entered our room. The room was as clean as a wissel, I thought as I touched the smooth white wall, that had a couple rough edges to it. I then said good-bye to my parents, which felt kind of awkward. After our farewells, I finally rested on comfy, white bedsheets. All of the sudden, my stomach growled as if it were a hungry pit-bull ready to devour anything it crosses. Realizing I hadn’t ate in hours; I decided to go pick something up from Campus.

My mouth couldn’t be happier as I gobbled this amazing burrito from Chipotle. Its taste was heaven, I thought to myself as I munched on the chicken. I then paused and took of a sip of Coca-Cola, its sweet and fizzy taste draining the food from my mouth. I instantly then checked my watch. It was 6:30, and I realized I had to go back. VROOM VROOM I heard from the distant cars as I crossed the street. I turned the smooth-golden colored doorknob, and right as I caught sight of what I saw in the room; I let out the loudest scream I had in a million years.

It was a grotesque sight; like it came out from a Freddy Krueger movie. My face turned pea-green and I wondered if I should run to the toilet to barf.

“Hi!” a woman said enthusiastically who looked my age appeared from the closet.

 I tried replying but words failed, like duck tape sprinted to my mouth and sealed it shut. Reading my mind, she then said,

”Oh, don’t worry about the brain and the heart on the table. I’m a pre-med student, and I’m doing an experiment,” she said brightly. My eye-balls swaddled around, doing some sort of tap-dance.

“What kind of experiment?” I asked hoarsely.

 “To see which one has more of a response to painful objects, and how they display it,” she said cheerfully. Without going further on the topic, she introduced herself,

“My name is Angela, but my friends call me Angel, HAHAHAHA I know I’m sooooo funny. You know I used to be the classclown in high school cause I’m hilarious, oh those were good days. I miss them, don’t you? I’ll probably visit soon and mayb- hey what’s your name!” Even though at this point, my brain had just hung itself trying to process that sort of knowledge, I still managed to respond,

“My name is Sarah, and ummm… nice to meet you,” I said quietly.

“That’s great I look forward to us being best buddies! Well, I’m going to buy some horsemeat, which is a nightmare, because it takes the state of Ohio to lift one of those calves up. Ok bye!” she replied energetically, walking out the door in a rather haughty way. Suddenly, a gust of wind blew from the open window. Whoosh, suddenly that gust of wind brought me back to life. What kind of nightmare had I just walked into? Hyperventilating, I sat down and tried breathing normal air again. The next two months are going to be great, I thought sarcastically.

BEEP BEEP BEEP! I woke up soundlessly to the alarm clock. Fumbling around the bed, I slammed the off button on it. I then maneuvered to my glasses. Right as I put them on, I let out another earsplitting shriek for the second time in two days. Angela was dressed up like a cat, and those big black balloon like eyes were staring straight at me.

“Angela what are you doing!” I asked worriedly.

“Every Sunday I dress up like a cat, because my cat died on a Sunday, he got hit by a bus.”

“Sorry,” I said sleepily.

“Yeah it was quite bad, oh well, no point whining about it now!” Angela then began jumping on my bed like it was a trampoline, and she was trying to blast off into outer space. Before I could tell her to stop, she then said,

 “Here’s your outfit, sorry it might be a little big, but oh well, you’ll grow into it!” I looked at Angela in disbelief.

“Angela, do you really think I’m wearing this?” Angela mouth then dropped like the ball drop in New Years.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I?” she asked solemnly. I could think of at least a million reasons why, but something told me I shouldn’t say anything. I then began walking to the shower, looking forward for the warm water to blast me awake. Suddenly, Angela walks in front of the door in a rather threatening stance. Bewildered, I ask,

“Uh, what are you doing?” I asked in discomfort.

 “Look here Sarah” she said in a tone that made it not seem like her. She lost her air-headed voice, and spoke menacingly.

“You are going to wear this, whether you like it or not, and don’t you dare try to defy me,” she commanded.

I stood there for a while as if time had froze. Without further ado, I then pushed her aside, my mouth trying to hold back the venomous spew I had for her. All of a sudden, Angela starts bursting in tears, the tears flowing down her cheeks like a river. I awkwardly walk to her and before I said anything, she then gives a great sob-filled laugh, and runs out of the dorm. Pretending that nothing happened, I briskly walk to the shower, and blast the knob where hot water woke me up.

            I pick out which outfit to wear in excitement, as my friend’s party was in one hour. I put it on and then pose for the mirror as if I was a model. My eyes were legit feasting on this dress. I then walked to the door; my feet doing a little tap-dance as I touched the knob. Angela opened the door, which gave me quite a scare.

“Sorry!” she said cheerfully.

“Er it’s ok,” I said awkwardly. Angela and I were cool, and we both pretended as if her breakdown never happened.

“Where are you going?” she asked eagerly.

“My friend’s party,” I said hesitantly. The last thing I wanted was for Angela to want to come. However, my worst fear was then only confirmed.

 “Oh my gosh I love parties! Parties are great! They’re the best! Did I say they were great? Please can I come?” she begged to me.

“Look Angela, I don’t think you know this person, and that would be awkward for you,” I said curtly. Something told me that did not change her mind one bit. Like last week, her voice than turned menacingly, except she shouted this time

“Please take me with you!” she let out in an ear-splitting scream. Without further ado, we both drove to my friend’s place.

            This palace was something that came out from a movie. It’s magnificent chandelier brought light to the whole place, as if it was the sun. Its white walls were something that my eyes were danced upon. I then walked over to my friend, Jessica.

“Hey happy birthday!” I said cheerfully. It was the first I sounded cheerful in weeks.

“Thanks!” she said with a smile that was glued upon her lips.

“Who’s your friend?” Jessica asked warmly.

            “Um her name is Angela,” I said unenthusiastically. Angela then went on a spew of words,

“Hey happy birthday! I don’t really know you but I should get to know you! You seem cool! This place is amazing! It must have been a lot to afford. Then again, so was your dress, which by the way is a little small for you. But it’s good all the same!” Suddenly the glued-on smile then disappeared from Jessica.

“I’m going to go get some water,” she said in a small tone.

            “Oh, before you go, I have a gift for you!” Angela said ecstatically.

“Oh how nice of you!” Jessica said nicely. She picked up the box and opened it. She then let out an ear-splitting scream that everyone must have heard, including my ears, which were about to explode.

            “What are you two playing at!” she shouted, and then she walked away. Bewildered, I checked the box. Suddenly, my face turned pea-green: inside the box was the brain. I rounded on Angela.

“What is wrong with you!?” I then stormed out in a hurry to my car. That’s it; I’ve had it with her. I was taken so aback, I ran into someone rather roughly.

“Sorry!” I said apologetically.

“It’s quite alright,”she said, and then she observed my face, weirdly.

“Hey are you Sarah?” she asked.

“Um yes,” I said creeped out.

“I believe I am your roommate, I’m Angela by the way, some other girl confused herself as me, so do you want to go get some coffee?” she asked nicely. I was then drowned in happiness. Suddenly this cold, black night instantly became warm and 100x better.

“Of course!” I said happily, as we walked down in this beautiful night of UC.

This is the specificity piece I had to write. That was the one where you had to create scenes, for the readers to imagine. There was an emphasis on showing, not telling.

In my opinion, this was the best piece I had written. It was fun to write and I learned alot out of it. I got to try out new things, such as using more diction and syntax in order to enhance my overall story in terms of quality. I enjoyed creating scenes, and I tried to be as descriptive as possible, in order for the reader to get the full picture in their mind. I used a lot of imagery, and that wasn't too hard. I also finally began to incorporate a good plot, and improved that. This is why that is my best piece. 

Blog post 3 (character)

Ever heard of the show Breaking Bad? If you haven't, it's a show about a high school teacher, whose name is Walter White, partnering with his old student, Jesse Pinkman to make illicit drugs. At first, neither of them feel any remorse for the actions that they have done,  or realize how many lives they may have potentially ruined for the drugs they have made. However, as the seasons continue, both of them begin to plunge into a colder, darker world, where people would do anything to either get their money or their share of dugs. In the first few seasons, Walter White is shown as a mild-mannered, innocent high school Chemistry teacher. As the series progresses, he gradually becomes darker and extremely egoistic, and not let anyone get in the way in whatever he achieves. He also begins to take more risks, and participate in more illegal activity, apart from his drug manufacturing. However, Jesse on the other hand also begins to feel more remorse for some of the wrong actions he committed, and suffers from them later on in the season. He constantly feels guilty about some of the stuff they did. At first, he was shown as rather dim, and a wanna-be, however he really changes throughout the seasons and there is more to him than you originally thought.
(Warning-Gun violence is shown, do not view if you are not comfortable)

In this particular scene, Jesse, Walter, and some other members decide to rob a train, for chemicals. The robbery was successful, however at the very end, one of the members, Todd, shoots a kid out of fear. In this scene, you see Todd shoot the unfortunate kid without any remorse and pain, which characterizes him as extremely sadistic, cruel, and potentially a psychopath. You see Jesse on the other hand shocked, as if he couldn't believe what had happened, and has some sort of breakdown. In my opinion, this is one of Jesse's defining moments. Even though Jesse may have partook in illegal activity, he still is a caring human being and is not sadistic, or very violent like some of the other characters he's associated with. He was just a kid who went down the wrong path, in which he now regrets. Due to that incident, he felt very guilty for the rest of the season. Jesse has transformed from a wild, careless kid, to a wise, caring adult as the seasons went on in Breaking Bad. This makes him my favorite character

Blog Post 2 (specificity)

(Skip to 1:17 for main quote)
One of my definite favorite movies of all time is The Dark Knight. Within that movie, there were many memorable scenes/quotes I found incredible and very thought provoking. However, my all time favorite was "you either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." That was spoken by Aaron Eckhart (Harvey Dent). Without spoiling anything, I'd say that was a pretty accurate quote that described the movie. Many of the hero's and villain's motives were questioned, that sort of brought proof to the validity of the statement.I love it because that scene defined who Harvey Dent was, and what the firm beliefs in which he stood for. Ever since that quote, all the action then begins to perpetuate in the movie. It also provides a bit of foreshadowing, into what would happen. I found Harvey Dent an extremely interesting character, from his rise as a successful lawyer to his downfall as Two-face. His predicament was perfectly described that quote, which was kind of ironic at first. However, this quote can also be applied to real-life situations, and some ruler's history. An example was Julias Caesar, as mentioned in the scene, a widely renown leader, who then turned tyrant. I also love the background in the video, I feel that the restaurant is a good fit/theme for the characters.

ill-advised moment

“Why are we even going to this?” I asked my parents in boredom.

“Because you have known this kid for more than four years and you are the boy’s friend,” my dad says curtly. My jaw dropped as he said that. I’m the boy’s friend? Please tell me your joking I thought darkly. Clearly they got the wrong impression, as that rambunctious little jerk chased me, attacked me, said mean things to me, and pranked me for more than four years. Yeah, what a great friend, I thought to myself darkly. This kids name was Neil, and he was practically dropped on this planet just to annoy the living daylights out of everyone. Why not Mars I thought dully. Even better, we’re now celebrating this kid’s birthday. His birthday is only an indicator of the amount of years he had annoyed everyone.

“We’re here!” my parents announce with glee. Wow, I didn’t realize we arrived. Clearly being trapped within your own thoughts does kill time.

“I suppose it’s too late to back up now?” I ask stupidly, considering we drove for 20 minutes just to get to this place. Suddenly, I wished I faked being sick. I’m pretty good at pulling those off. Surprisingly, my parents reacted with a smile to my last statement.

“I know you don’t like him, but you’re only kids. One day you’ll forget about all of this. For now, just try to get along with him, ok?” my mother reasons with me.

I stood there shocked. Did my ears deceive me? Wow my parents actually agreed on something with me. There is some human still left in them. Of course, I was eight at that time, so my mind contained such shallow thoughts.

“Thanks, mom,” I said in a rather quiet tone.

“You be good ok and behave” my parents said wishfully. “Definitely and yeah I will,” I replied.

“Ok pick you up at 7” my parents said.

“Alright, bye!” I call to my parents as I run to the swarm of kids heading to the playground. I took a deep breath. It was only a matter of four hours. Without thinking too much, I run along with the swarm of kids. All of them wearing looks of glee on their face, with the scent of nature and grass filling my nose, as we were in a park. Most of them were playing tag, basketball, and hopscotch. The adults sat in a corner near the shed, laughing and together. They were wearing khaki pants and nice polos, dressed neatly. I looked down at my own attire, blue Nike shorts and a grey Adidas shirt. Suddenly, I felt very underdressed. However, right then I decided not to let my insecurities take control of me. I then set off with the rest of the kids and tried my best to have a great time.

Two hours pass by, and so far, not too bad. Things like hopscotch, basketball, and tag really kill time. Surprisingly, Neil wasn’t too annoying, but more focused on impressing the ladies. Oh well, suits me, as long as I don’t get annoyed, I don’t care what he does. I’ll admit it did get a little boring sometimes, because it was one of the bright adults who suggested playing bingo. That’s when I decided to sit on a bench. Two more hours to go I thought glumly. That’s when I notice something shiny on the ground. The object was really shiny, with beams of light bouncing off of it. Shiny objects and eight year olds are a match made in heaven. Slowly, in awe, I pick it up. I observe its magnificence, its beauty. Suddenly, this dull party just automatically transformed to the best day of my life. Right when I thought it couldn’t get any better, my eyes instantly laid eyes on another crystal. There’s another I thought, as my body fleeted with excitement. That’s when I realized there was a path of these crystals. I didn’t even know what these types of crystals these were, but their smooth feel and their appealing appearance instantly made them a hit in my mind. Curiously, I dropped it to see what would happen. The crystal let out a dull clunk sound, but otherwise remained intact. Eagerly I spend 15 minutes collecting the next 20 of those, stuffing them in my pocket. Then another kid comes along.

“Whatcha doing?” he asks inquisitively.

“Nothing” I say shortly. The last thing I need is for him to know what I was doing.

“You’re doing something, I know you are,” he said with a grin on his face. Starting to feel annoyed, I walked the other way, ignoring the nosy kid. Suddenly with a solemn look on his face he said,

“Look, I’m getting bored too, and I saw a couple of those too. I don’t want to annoy you or anything; I just want to see the rest of these crystals too. My name’s Chris by the way” Suddenly, all my doubts about this kid, Chris, just disappeared. He seemed to be in my predicament too. 

“Okay cool, you don’t seem bad, here lets go find the where this trail leads to,” I say cheerfully. With a happy look on both our faces, we set off to find more of these crystals.

I checked my watch. It was 4:30. We should go back, the other kids are probably eating pizza now I thought to myself uncertainly. We’ll be back soon, we’re not going to be in these woods all day I reasoned with myself. Both of us continued along the trail for the next 5 minutes. I found about 5, Chris found about 7. In my opinion, each crystal was getting shinier then the previous one we found. After some time, we hit a dead end. That dead end was a river. We looked at each other uneasily for about a minute. Finally, Chris broke the awkward silence.

“Do you think there are crystals in the river?” he asked tersely.

“I don’t know, but it looks like there is,” I replied. Indeed, that was the case, because it looked like there were numerous small rock-like objects that were shiny. They definitely had a crystal-like feel to them.

“Should we go down and check,” Chris asked, with a hesitant look on his face.

“Well can you swim?” I asked nervously to Chris. “For the most part, yes” Chris replied sharply.

 “Look we mustn’t waste anymore time, lets just go collect the last of these crystals and get back as soon as possible,” adding an afterthought. Since we were both confident, we left for the river without further ado.

 I put my foot in the river, feeling its icy chill, sending a tingle up my spine. Then I slowly progressed to both feet. It was a little frightening at first, but slowly it became easier.

“Everything alright?” Chris called from the other side.

“Yep, all fine,” I called back to Chris. The crystals were about seven feet from us. We kept walking in a careful manner, to avoid falling. We were getting farther and farther, occasionally balancing ourselves with rocks. However, I had to stop for a second to observe the beauty of this river. A large blue stream with sun glinting across the surface was heaven to my eyes. Hold on…what if there are no crystals, and it’s just the sun reflecting the water I thought suddenly. Panicking, I looked down and checked a rock exactly positioned in the way the crystals were positioned. I picked it up, and surely it was an ordinary rock. I did the same thing with another object which I thought was a crystal, and once again it was a rock. We should’ve never been out here in the first place. That’s when I realized we had to get back as soon as possible.

“Chris!” I yelled to him. Chris turned around a little too quick, lost his balance, and then fell into the cold river. I screamed extremely loud. We were more than 15 feet in the river, so it wasn’t an easy trip back. Chris was above the surface again, but yelled profusely hoping to catch someone’s attention. He was flailing his arms like an overgrown walrus. Whatever he said about being able to swim well was a lie. He probably only said that because he wanted to get more crystals I thought glumly. I swam toward his side. Suddenly, the current got a whole lot stronger. It felt like an invisible barrier that I couldn’t pass. I was a pretty good swimmer, but in circumstances like these, I wasn’t proving my skills too well. Chris then continued to flow down the stream at a slow yet alarming rate. One moment, I loved this river next thing I know I’m hating it with a burning passion, and thought of it as wicked and evil. I honestly didn’t know what to do. We were in deep trouble. That’s when I hear shouts and voices coming from the woods. Hope reentered my mind.

Three adults emerged from the woods, their faces filled with worry. One of them automatically jumps in the river and within seconds he grabbed my body and did a fireman’s carry. I remembered his face from somewhere; I know that I had seen it before. I then realized he was a lifeguard at the rec. He turned around and looked at me.

“Where is the other boy you were with!” he asked in an urgent tone. I surveyed the river, from a distance I saw him, struggling to keep afloat.

“Over there!” I said, pointing to the area where he was. He then helps me up to the rock and then continues to freestyle over where Chris was. Relief swept through every part of my body. However, that disappeared right when I saw the cold fury at the other adults faces.

“What were you doing at the lake?” one of them asks with a livid look on his face. I muttered “crystals” quietly under my breath.

“What?” he asks with contempt.

“I was looking for crystals, me and my friend Chris were,” I said strongly.

“Yeah, we had like 20 of them,” Chris says, reemerging on the surface.

“Well could I see them?” the adult said quietly. My hand dove for my pocket, when I realized we lost all of them in the river. Chris must have too, judging by the look on his face.

“We er lost them,” I said, embarrassed, losing my strength in my voice. At this point, I think the adults deemed us insane.  adult then took my hand and walked me all the way back to where the party was. Another adult also did that with Chris’s hand. We arrived back at the party, where all the kids looked at us momentarily, gazing at our soaked clothes. Then they looked up and burst laughing. Even Neil was cracking up. At first we both got red in the face, then joined in with the laughing as well. The adults didn’t seem to amused. One of them called my parents and the other called Chris’s parents. All of a sudden I see Neil running towards me. I braced myself for the taunts, the insults, and the rude comments

“Hey man, I heard your screaming and I alerted the parents as soon as I could. Look, I don’t really want to know what happened in the river, just know I’ve always got your back man,” he said decently. I was shook for a second but grateful at the same time. This kid had annoyed me for years, tattled on me, hurt me, and now he was acting like a true friend.

“Thanks man, oh and happy birthday,” I say in a solemn tone, shaking his hand.

He replies with a grin, “thanks dude, see you later.”

That’s when I see a car pull up. Uh-oh that is definitely my parents I thought with fear. I braced myself for an awkward car ride home.

“Disappointed,” my dad said with contempt. “What were you thinking swimming in that river?” he asked seriously. I stayed silent. Then in about ten seconds, my whole family burst out laughing at today’s events. I then looked down and picked up a dime, feeling its silvery touch. Silver, like today’s crystals I thought as I looked back at the river.

Analysis: I believe that I tried my best to utilize some of the five senses and incorporate them in this piece, because I wanted the reader to be able to understand the book even more, and really have a picture/idea of the object I am describing. I also feel that I tried my best to remember the plot as accurately as I can, to make the story sound as realistic as possible. In order to do that, I put a emphasis on dialogue, and engage the reader more into the story. Another thing I feel like I did well with was different word choices, to make the writing not sound so bland and unoriginal, so I used more interesting word choices. Those are the things I feel like I did well with.