Blog post #4 (writing sample)

                                                                      Specificity Piece

The smell of the fresh leaves and warm summer air flooded my nose, giving me a feeling of excitement. The campus was stunning, like when a kid enters Disneyland for the first time.  Everything about it was beautiful, such as the several brick-structured buildings, the green leafy trees that surrounded the area, and the numerous cars that were filled with families. Today was move-in day. The sound of trunks opening and bags rolling across the ground filled my ears.

“All freshmen please go to your designated dorms please. If you have questions, ask me or the other upperclassmen!” a voice boomed from a megaphone.

 Like other students, I gazed around too trying to find where that voice came from. It was the RA, who was wearing cargo shorts, with a red and black UC polo. He had a rather hard look on his face, and instantly I decided I wouldn’t mess with him. We then entered our room. The room was as clean as a wissel, I thought as I touched the smooth white wall, that had a couple rough edges to it. I then said good-bye to my parents, which felt kind of awkward. After our farewells, I finally rested on comfy, white bedsheets. All of the sudden, my stomach growled as if it were a hungry pit-bull ready to devour anything it crosses. Realizing I hadn’t ate in hours; I decided to go pick something up from Campus.

My mouth couldn’t be happier as I gobbled this amazing burrito from Chipotle. Its taste was heaven, I thought to myself as I munched on the chicken. I then paused and took of a sip of Coca-Cola, its sweet and fizzy taste draining the food from my mouth. I instantly then checked my watch. It was 6:30, and I realized I had to go back. VROOM VROOM I heard from the distant cars as I crossed the street. I turned the smooth-golden colored doorknob, and right as I caught sight of what I saw in the room; I let out the loudest scream I had in a million years.

It was a grotesque sight; like it came out from a Freddy Krueger movie. My face turned pea-green and I wondered if I should run to the toilet to barf.

“Hi!” a woman said enthusiastically who looked my age appeared from the closet.

 I tried replying but words failed, like duck tape sprinted to my mouth and sealed it shut. Reading my mind, she then said,

”Oh, don’t worry about the brain and the heart on the table. I’m a pre-med student, and I’m doing an experiment,” she said brightly. My eye-balls swaddled around, doing some sort of tap-dance.

“What kind of experiment?” I asked hoarsely.

 “To see which one has more of a response to painful objects, and how they display it,” she said cheerfully. Without going further on the topic, she introduced herself,

“My name is Angela, but my friends call me Angel, HAHAHAHA I know I’m sooooo funny. You know I used to be the classclown in high school cause I’m hilarious, oh those were good days. I miss them, don’t you? I’ll probably visit soon and mayb- hey what’s your name!” Even though at this point, my brain had just hung itself trying to process that sort of knowledge, I still managed to respond,

“My name is Sarah, and ummm… nice to meet you,” I said quietly.

“That’s great I look forward to us being best buddies! Well, I’m going to buy some horsemeat, which is a nightmare, because it takes the state of Ohio to lift one of those calves up. Ok bye!” she replied energetically, walking out the door in a rather haughty way. Suddenly, a gust of wind blew from the open window. Whoosh, suddenly that gust of wind brought me back to life. What kind of nightmare had I just walked into? Hyperventilating, I sat down and tried breathing normal air again. The next two months are going to be great, I thought sarcastically.

BEEP BEEP BEEP! I woke up soundlessly to the alarm clock. Fumbling around the bed, I slammed the off button on it. I then maneuvered to my glasses. Right as I put them on, I let out another earsplitting shriek for the second time in two days. Angela was dressed up like a cat, and those big black balloon like eyes were staring straight at me.

“Angela what are you doing!” I asked worriedly.

“Every Sunday I dress up like a cat, because my cat died on a Sunday, he got hit by a bus.”

“Sorry,” I said sleepily.

“Yeah it was quite bad, oh well, no point whining about it now!” Angela then began jumping on my bed like it was a trampoline, and she was trying to blast off into outer space. Before I could tell her to stop, she then said,

 “Here’s your outfit, sorry it might be a little big, but oh well, you’ll grow into it!” I looked at Angela in disbelief.

“Angela, do you really think I’m wearing this?” Angela mouth then dropped like the ball drop in New Years.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I?” she asked solemnly. I could think of at least a million reasons why, but something told me I shouldn’t say anything. I then began walking to the shower, looking forward for the warm water to blast me awake. Suddenly, Angela walks in front of the door in a rather threatening stance. Bewildered, I ask,

“Uh, what are you doing?” I asked in discomfort.

 “Look here Sarah” she said in a tone that made it not seem like her. She lost her air-headed voice, and spoke menacingly.

“You are going to wear this, whether you like it or not, and don’t you dare try to defy me,” she commanded.

I stood there for a while as if time had froze. Without further ado, I then pushed her aside, my mouth trying to hold back the venomous spew I had for her. All of a sudden, Angela starts bursting in tears, the tears flowing down her cheeks like a river. I awkwardly walk to her and before I said anything, she then gives a great sob-filled laugh, and runs out of the dorm. Pretending that nothing happened, I briskly walk to the shower, and blast the knob where hot water woke me up.

            I pick out which outfit to wear in excitement, as my friend’s party was in one hour. I put it on and then pose for the mirror as if I was a model. My eyes were legit feasting on this dress. I then walked to the door; my feet doing a little tap-dance as I touched the knob. Angela opened the door, which gave me quite a scare.

“Sorry!” she said cheerfully.

“Er it’s ok,” I said awkwardly. Angela and I were cool, and we both pretended as if her breakdown never happened.

“Where are you going?” she asked eagerly.

“My friend’s party,” I said hesitantly. The last thing I wanted was for Angela to want to come. However, my worst fear was then only confirmed.

 “Oh my gosh I love parties! Parties are great! They’re the best! Did I say they were great? Please can I come?” she begged to me.

“Look Angela, I don’t think you know this person, and that would be awkward for you,” I said curtly. Something told me that did not change her mind one bit. Like last week, her voice than turned menacingly, except she shouted this time

“Please take me with you!” she let out in an ear-splitting scream. Without further ado, we both drove to my friend’s place.

            This palace was something that came out from a movie. It’s magnificent chandelier brought light to the whole place, as if it was the sun. Its white walls were something that my eyes were danced upon. I then walked over to my friend, Jessica.

“Hey happy birthday!” I said cheerfully. It was the first I sounded cheerful in weeks.

“Thanks!” she said with a smile that was glued upon her lips.

“Who’s your friend?” Jessica asked warmly.

            “Um her name is Angela,” I said unenthusiastically. Angela then went on a spew of words,

“Hey happy birthday! I don’t really know you but I should get to know you! You seem cool! This place is amazing! It must have been a lot to afford. Then again, so was your dress, which by the way is a little small for you. But it’s good all the same!” Suddenly the glued-on smile then disappeared from Jessica.

“I’m going to go get some water,” she said in a small tone.

            “Oh, before you go, I have a gift for you!” Angela said ecstatically.

“Oh how nice of you!” Jessica said nicely. She picked up the box and opened it. She then let out an ear-splitting scream that everyone must have heard, including my ears, which were about to explode.

            “What are you two playing at!” she shouted, and then she walked away. Bewildered, I checked the box. Suddenly, my face turned pea-green: inside the box was the brain. I rounded on Angela.

“What is wrong with you!?” I then stormed out in a hurry to my car. That’s it; I’ve had it with her. I was taken so aback, I ran into someone rather roughly.

“Sorry!” I said apologetically.

“It’s quite alright,”she said, and then she observed my face, weirdly.

“Hey are you Sarah?” she asked.

“Um yes,” I said creeped out.

“I believe I am your roommate, I’m Angela by the way, some other girl confused herself as me, so do you want to go get some coffee?” she asked nicely. I was then drowned in happiness. Suddenly this cold, black night instantly became warm and 100x better.

“Of course!” I said happily, as we walked down in this beautiful night of UC.

This is the specificity piece I had to write. That was the one where you had to create scenes, for the readers to imagine. There was an emphasis on showing, not telling.

In my opinion, this was the best piece I had written. It was fun to write and I learned alot out of it. I got to try out new things, such as using more diction and syntax in order to enhance my overall story in terms of quality. I enjoyed creating scenes, and I tried to be as descriptive as possible, in order for the reader to get the full picture in their mind. I used a lot of imagery, and that wasn't too hard. I also finally began to incorporate a good plot, and improved that. This is why that is my best piece.